Throughout the last year or so- sorta been some craziness going on in my family. Struggle, battles, fights, arguments and yes 2 more divorces. My cousin and brother. Both were for different reasons obviously- but I could see both of these divorces a mile away, unfortunately. And when you have gone through one yourself, you just know.
While this shit does happen, it sucks to see two children to be dragged through the mud through one of them. Although this blog isn’t entirely about fitness- my mental aspect and surroundings literally pushed and threw me for a loop. I actually have seen a therapist to discuss my feelings because at one point I was literally talking to my brother’s ex daily and we had become friends to a degree at least. She even told my mom and dad how I was closer than her sister.
Through the course of 10 years, its been a struggle for me quite honestly. While I like to say I can get along with just about anyone, my brother’s ex- wife was not an easy person to deal with at all. It took a while to get her to talk to you, open up and even provide any eye contact. Which in my book if you don’t look me in the eyes there is something up already.
I’m a pretty chill person, roll with the punches and I tell it how it is. Obviously, if I saw something I didn’t like– and they asked me I would be honest. Cause why sugar coat a pile of shit right? No reason to.
After my brother had the first kid- I sorta knew something was up though. My parents became pretty involved, more than the usual grandparent support (financially, daycare actively, emotional support for both of them- Hell my mom even took family leaves to help my SIL out since she had no family supposedly.) At the time I didn’t really think anything of it since my ex-SIL literally would tell me all the time how she had no family that supported her and how she couldn’t allow her parents in her life do to her childhood issues.
I pretty much respected that. But throughout the years the stories would increase. And it would seem like a horrible excessively craziness and I would just wonder how anyone would allow this kind of treatment ever. I would never stay in a situation where my own kids were hurt by my partner, it truly did sadden me and my family anytime they would hear this torture.
Sadly a second child was brought in- and it made things worse. More support was needed as a crippling past and more stories of the unreal became even more entangled. My family became even more of a support rock for them.
I always knew something was off after a certain point, when someone doesn’t look you in the face. The faces…hell who knows what happens behind closed doors. But when you don’t feel the love somewhere, you are usually correct. You can tell when its there or not..its just that.
Like I always said with my own life, marriage and everything else. There is always two sides of every story, I didn’t live in their household so many things could of went on. I know how stuff went down in my old married life- so one can assume that they just fell out of love at one point, gave up or grew apart, which does happen. While having kids doesn’t help the situation, neither does having some issues health-wise. All I can see is the battling between the two kids after they decided to break up and my parents having to step in even more as which they always have.
All I can see is the battling between the two kids after they decided to break up and my parents having to step in even more as which they always have. Having kids is a serious thing and anyone thinking it as a light topic is full of it. But to know that my ex sil asked my brother for another kid is completely crazy after they knew their marriage had truly come to an end.
Not 100% sure how things will turn out in the end- but for now my family is separated in a huge way and my parents have felt used for the most part. They have been the most amazing supportive people in the world. Willing to give anyone their shirts of their backs and give anyone the benefit of the doubt. In a world full of crazy- they truly were a breath of fresh air in the end. Married, no issues, two working parents and just wanted to help out their son, his wife and two kids. Makes me truly think if they just wouldn’t of helped out and they would of broke up sooner or whatever–but that is just a thought process I am sure that a few might even have.
Does this make me want to not help people? No- but be more cautious. When things smell off, and you know in your gut something is off…guess what it is. I knew something was not right mid way myself– tones were different, texts, and wandering eyes from people….But like I said before stuff does happen and its just sad other people have to be hurt for actions that had nothing to do with those helpful, supporting people.
There are just people on this world that just that selfish, not caring and thankless pretty much. Nothing you can do. In the end- I know in my heart what we did, for being a good and helpful people on this planet.
One day truth will all come out, thats all I know. Just in my own life–always speak the truth. Know who you are and when someone asks you something state facts, what really happened and make stuff up.
Truth always comes out. Maybe not today, maybe not 100% tomorrow, but truth will be known at one point.